Wisely Choose your Hiking Buddies

If I were going to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, I would choose my wife and kids to accompany me. I would also choose our dog, Bella, because she makes me laugh. She is a supreme, grade A ding-a-ling. I would not invite our parakeets, however, because they would abandon me somewhere during the first 20 feet of the trail. They have no sense of comaraderie or loyalty. They are also lousy hikers.

I asked myself the question, "If I could also hike the 2,600 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail with anyone else, whom would I invite?" Could I assemble a "Dream Team" of hikers? Following, in no particular order, are my choices:

Cap'n Crunch:

Because everyone knows breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Lieutenant Worf from Star Trek the Next Generation:

He could teach me Klingon poetry during the long, grueling stretches of trail.

Alice from The Brady Bunch:

She would keep the camp clean.

The Brawny paper towel guy:

He could assist Alice.

The parking attendant from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

What can I say? This guy is as cool as they come. He would make me a better, more caring person.

Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride:

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya"

Maybe he could find the guy who killed his father out on the trail.

Mozart:

Because when I'm in the Sierras I hear his music.

That PBS painting guy:

Maybe he could teach me to paint!

The Von Trapp Familiy singers from The Sound of Music:

Eh, why not?

Nacho Libre:

He could keep the PBS painting guy in line.